Step one: Arrive at the theatre (preferably with a date or friend).
Step two: Order tickets. Flash some ID if requested. It doesn’t matter, because you’re an adult.
Step three: Giggle at the bold”R” printed on the ticket. You might be an adult, but come on, it’s still a little thrilling.
Step four: Be shocked by the accidental pyrotechnic show as the popcorn machine catches on fire.
Step five: Order popcorn and Coke from the frazzled girl who was closest to the exploding popcorn machine, ask her if she’s ok.
Step six: Find a good seat.
Step seven: Hide behind someone’s shoulder through the scary movie previews. If you opted to view the film alone, make fast friends with the guy next to you.
Step eight: Jump and spill the popcorn bucket when the sweet old lady turns into a scary angel-demon.
Step nine: Enjoy the intensely unnecessary violence and gore. Laugh because it is so over the top.
Step ten: Go home and don’t sleep for three nights.
And that, my friends, is how to watch a rated R movie like a real adult.